As it is that time of year though now, the clocks are going back and we are moving into 'reflection' mode, I thought it would be a good time to give you some tips that I like to live by to keep my little head above water when I feel like I'm sinking :)
I speak to a lot of clients, I guess mostly women in particular, but even so, I speak to a lot! What I find is that a lot of us are in jobs we don't like, marriages that make us unhappy and lives that kind of 'suck ass' to be polite. Why do we do this? It's like we are conditioned to do something that makes us unhappy because we have to. Bills need to be paid, mouths need to be fed - I know, I know. Have you ever sat down though and thought what would make you really and truly happy in life? If not, I suggest that you do. Go somewhere quiet, whether it be in bed at night when everybody is asleep or take yourself away in your car to a nice place by yourself with a lovely view. (I used to send a lot of clients to the local water park when they were stressed. Tell them to sit in their car quietly and have a good think whilst looking over the water). This does not have to be something super deep and meaningful but just some time for you to plan in your head what you love to do. If you can, make a career of it! I adore my job, I love treating clients and I struggle to think of myself doing anything else - so I keep doing it! I LOVE yoga, it's changed my life and takes me to a 'happy place' inside of me (cheesy line I know, but it's actually true!) so I keep doing it. I love to bake, I love to watch Nigella on TV, I love spending time with my family, my best friends, eating out in different restaurants, going for walks... I could go on. In the last few months I've been so busy with life, I forgot a lot of these things. List what makes you happy - then get to doing it! Try and build these little highs into your life on a daily basis. Take a step back and look at life from the outside, are you stressing over things that you can't change? Instead, let them go and sit and watch some Nigella on TV!
This can lead on from the first point, you could argue that you continue doing what you do because you have to. Yes, I understand. Finances can be a mega stress on anybody. Maybe sit down in front of a spreadsheet and try and get your money in order so you know how much you have to spend and also how much you need. It might seem a little regimented at first, but if you find your main stress is money then you should try and organise it. There are so many templates online where you can find a spreadsheet to organise a family budget. This way you know when you can afford to treat yourself and also when you can't. Also, you can build in holidays, parties, presents and anything else. Hopefully it should take the stress out of money and leave you clear on what you can treat yourself and your family to.
3 - CUT OUT THE NEGATIVITY
We can all have poisonous friends. The ones that 'zap' you instead of uplift you. Sometimes though, we need to come to terms with the fact that some people don't bring the best out of us and we need to leave that behind. They say you're the average of your 5 closet friends, so if you look around and think you're surrounded by a group of miseries then maybe it's time to change direction and work on making new ones. If you have friends that make you feel good and happy, spend more time with them. Don't forget though, it's all about give and take. Just because they make YOU feel good, don't just take and take from them. It's all about balance, looking after others and giving to your amazing friends as much as you receive (because we all know it feels so much better to give than receive anyway!)
4 - LOOK AFTER YOU AND YOUR BODY
It's sometimes quite easy to forget how important our bodies are. If you are eating sugary, processed foods, not moving enough and not taking care of your mental well-being then you are not going to feel your best. Take a good look at your diet and try and reduce the things that you know are not good for you. If you love sugary foods then cut back on the processed ones to start with and replace them with a healthier version (instead of biscuits, look for energy balls made from nuts and dates). If you hate going to the gym (like I do!), then find something that you can do that gets your body moving without having to run on a treadmill for 30 mins at a time! I did that with yoga, I hate the gym but instead I practice my yoga daily instead. Maybe go for a walk after dinner, take up swimming or horse riding. Just try doing something that makes exercise fun and that way you won't hate it so much! Then, finally don't forget your mind. Practice mindfulness, meditation before bed and filling in a gratitude journal. Don't forget your brain is a muscle that we can train, if you keep telling yourself you can't do something, you never will be able to. Teach yourself to set an intention for your day each morning and follow it through. If you say that each day you will be the best YOU that you can be, when you go to bed at night you know you have done your best, given it your all and don't have to feel guilty that you didn't try hard enough. Then, if something doesn't work out, at least you can say you gave it your best shot.
5 - CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE AND ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN'T
Some things in life we have no control over and somethings we do. If there are some things in your life that are not making you happy, that are not making you feel good, then it's up to you to do your best to change them. Firstly, if it's something that is out of your control, then you must learn to accept it and change the way that you react to that situation. When there is something that's getting you down or affecting you in a negative way, you must do what you can to change things to make your life easier and therefore, make you happier.
If you hate your job, then look for a new one. If you're in a crappy relationship then talk to your partner and try and resolve some issues. Either way, try and eliminate anything in your life that doesn't make you happy to get your life back on track.
So there you have it! Some little tips that I try and love by to keep me in that Happy Place more often than not! I hope it's made you think and work harder on yourself, to be the best version of you.
Thanks so much for reading!
Em x
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